Was it anger that pressed me? Perhaps it was questioning. Wondering. Hope? I am still not sure to this day, what pressed me to use Wilhelm in my experiment.
Perhaps I saw something in him. Perhaps a strength I hadn't seen in any other. At the time, such inquiries did not pass through my mind. Only the pursuit of knowledge. Answers to questions that could only be obtained through this method, though a part of me cried out in protest.
Knowledge is a dangerous thing at times. Not only for the one who obtains it, but for the ones the pursuit, and the application, affect.
In this case, there were only two. Thank the fates.
Try as I might, I cannot justify the greed it took to walk down this path I am about to tell you about. Nothing can make what I did just or good. As I have said in the past, however, such is life.
We do things we've no control over, feel disdain for them later, yet the act is done. We cannot change the past but in our own little worlds. And even then, the past is the past.
Even gods cannot change this rule, only deceive and forget.
Quiem deus perdere, dementat prius.